After reading Chapter 3 in its entirety, answer the
following question: Sometimes abusive parents say they merely teach strict
discipline. What do you think is
the difference between punishing and disciplining a child? When do people overstep their paternal
authority to punish their children?
This is a very debatable
topic because there is no clear distinction definition of disciplining and
punishing. A part of disciplining a child is punishment. But to me I believe
punishment and discipline does not have to be abusive. Discipline means to train
the child to follow certain rules. This means the parents can remind a child to
follow the rules by taking away a certain toy away or lowering allowance money.
Parents can use gentle words to show how a child can follow the rules. Punishment is the penalty inflicted for
a wrong behavior. A parent can punish a child with verbal as well as physical
abuse. These are harsh words and pain inflicting punishment because a child did
something wrong.
When parents overstep the
line and become abusive to punish their child, the parent is using a
self-centered aggressive orientation to deal with the conflict. They are
yelling at the kid because the parents have to win. Sometimes parents will get
physically abusive after the verbal abusing. I believe that a lot of parents go
over to the physical abusive because they are so angry with their child.
Hello, Cyyntthhia!
ReplyDeleteI share the same view with you on this topic. I also believe that punishment can be enforced in a non-abusive way. I had a similar idea of taking away certain forms of entertainment and privileges such as T.V. or hanging out with friends to discipline a misbehaving child. This can be an affective way to get the child to obey the rules without causing serious harm. I like that you mention verbal abuse as an example of parental over-stepping. I feel like sometimes we forget that one does not have to physically injure another to be abusive. Words can cause just as much, and sometimes more, damage than inflicting physical pain on another person. Mental and emotional pain are both very harmful forms of aggressive behavior that should also be considered when we, as a society, recognize abuse.
There has been a lot of study surrounding parenting which has helped redefine what is appropriate and effective when it comes to disciplining kids. Asking this question of our class is somewhat awkward because it's not a subject that our text offered a great deal of insight to. I think that our culture has lumped the two ideas, discipline and punishment, together for a long time. I didn't learn the difference between them through natural experiences - I had to be taught. I hope you don’t mind me sharing what I’ve learned.
ReplyDeleteMy blog talked about this, but in case you didn’t get a chance to see it, I’ll go ahead and rehash it. Discipline is based on the Latin term which means to teach. When it comes to our kids, taking the role of teacher as opposed to a punisher is key. I think that operating from a punishing mindset is a slippery slope towards crossing in to abusiveness. Punishment doesn’t teach kids that they’re capable and competent - it teaches them that they’re bad and wrong. But if we discipline, and by that I mean teach, then kids can learn to be functional and happy adults without the shame and self-doubt.