Week 10: D3

Pick one concept or idea from this week’s assigned reading and discuss it.  Be sure to relate the concept/idea to you personally by using examples from your life and/or experiences.

The concept that I want to talk about is unforgiveness in chapter 10. This means that one person does not let go of that anger and the idea of revenge on the other person. This is actually not healthy because it does lead to revenge and that can cause evil. Not only that but revenge can also harm someone for the rest of his or her lives.

Personally I never did anything to physically harm people because I was unforgiving, but I have done some pretty crazy things when it comes to revenge. One time I remember that I did not want to forgive someone because he wronged me. I was so mad at him that I went behind his back and made sure that he did not get the things he deserved. Basically a teacher/coach who I was sort of close to ask me about this person and asked me if he should put him into a game and I said no because he was not ready and he sucks. Of course afterwards I regretted it and I see how unforgiveness can be harmful.

Week 9: D3

Pick one concept or idea from this week’s assigned reading and discuss it.  Be sure to relate the concept/idea to you personally by using examples from your life and/or experiences

The concept that I want to talk about this week is anger-ins. This means that there is no expression of anger to the person that is upsetting us. The book describes how people do this when they have a hard time admitting that they are angry, know that they are angry but they don’t want to tell the person, tell others about their anger but not the one who upsets them, and may be passive aggressive.

I thought that this concept was interesting because I can see myself acting on this. One reason being is the fact that there are times when I do not want to tell the other person. For example I tend to get frustrated with my co-worker, who is also a good friend of mine, because there are times that I do not agree with her. I would get a bit angry with her but I do not want to tell her since I know I will get over it soon. I do not want her to know that I am angry with her because it might damage the relationship a bit. 

Week 9: D2

After reading Chapter 8 in its entirety, answer the following question: Are you a person who tends to blow up, do you express your anger calmly, or do you simply not express it at all?  What are the outcomes of expressing anger in this way?

I think I express anger in many different ways due to the situation that I am in.  Sometimes I tend to blow up but there are other times when I am calm. I am more likely to blow up if I am arguing with someone and I seem to cannot get my ideas into the other person’s head. I can get pretty heated up when I do not get my way or it seems as if this argument will not end. With this I have damage some relationships in the past because I acted irrationally. But this is a rather rare occurrence because I have learned to control my anger. When I act calmly, I tend to just listen to the person because I am interested in what they are saying. I think this happens because I treasure the relationship more and I do not want to blow on them. Because I act more calmly in a conflict I am able to solve it with more agreeable terms.

Week 9: D1

After reading Chapter 7 in its entirety, answer the following question: Look at your work and school commitments.  How might you apply each of the “three solutions” to improve how you feel about your job and school? 

I admit that I get pretty stressed out with work and school. But through all the stress there are solutions to make life a little more stress-free. One of the solutions is to differentiate work and play. We “play” to balance our workload. One thing that I do is go to the gym, something that I can do mindlessly, because it helps me get my mind off of the things I have to do for work or school. The second solution is to lighten up. Sometimes when I am work I tend to joke around more and just take things a little slow if I can. By giving a positive outlook at my projects, it makes it less stressful and hard. Lastly the third solution is to understand that joy and pain are often found in the same place. For me this means that writing that paper might be hard and long but at the end of it I feel relived.

Week 7: D3

Pick one concept or idea from this week’s assigned reading and discuss it.  Be sure to relate the concept/idea to you personally by using examples from your life and/or experiences.

An interesting concept that I have seen applied in my life is powerless speech. The book states that powerless speech is talking up to others, making requests or asking questions. This normally happens when someone is nonassertive in the discussion or conversation.

I have seen people execute this concept in most group projects. I recall in high school there were always people in my group that does not seem like they care about what was going on or wanted to give any legit input.  When members of a group are incompetent, they would throw words like “could, maybe, I guess so, don’t know”. This is because they do not have any power in the group so they are not sure if their words can make a difference. When there is uncertainty, they give comments that seem to be rather easily dismissed so that at least it looks like they try in the discussion. To me I rather have someone say nothing than to give a powerless speech. 

Weel 7:D2

After reading Chapter 6 in its entirety, answer the following question: How does it feel when you are in an unbalanced power relationship?  What is it like to have more power?  Less power? 

In almost every relationship it seems as if there is always one person more dominant or powerful. Power in relationship is the ability to influence or have control over a situation. It is easy to use power to manipulate people.

When I am in an unbalanced power relationship I feel as if someone is trying to use and control me. I believe that we all face the unbalanced power relationship everyday.
It is nice to have more power because it feels like you are in control of what is going on. Your suggestions and comments actually might mean something because people would want to agree with you. When you have power you can determine if the goal will be met or not. At times we get out of hands with this power.  But having less power can be good as well because it means less stress and pressure on your part in the group. The bad part of this is sometimes you might not be heard and at times even threatened by people who are more powerful.

Week 7: D1

After reading Chapter 6 in its entirety, answer the following question: When have you ever lost your trust in someone?  How did you react to the loss of trust?  How was the trust restored?

Trust means a strong belief in someone’s honesty. We place our trust in someone because we think the other person will not hurt us and will keep our interest in mind.

I personally have lost trust in some people in the recent years. One time I lost my trust in one of my good friends because he wasn’t completely honest with me for months. I did not take it well because when I realized that I did not trust him anymore. I still recall how mad I was at him. The second I knew that I shouldn’t trust him anymore my stomach like sank. For a good four months I barely talk to him or even acknowledge his presence in our group. After this little grudge was over, I was not able to talk to him like I have before.

It took a long time, but around a year later my trust in him finally restored. He proved himself to me that he was trustworthy and he was not going to break that trust again. I have to say that our relationship isn’t the same as before but its slowly getting better and I am learning to trust him again.